clearly yes i havent moved on. but please get the idea that i somehow i dont really have much of feelings for you anymore im begging you already i havent begged anyone before and your the first im not here to tarnish your name or your image or your life
i just want to be back as a friend and i hope you understand please.
the first time we met and laid eyes on one another the first thing you said to me was 'your bag is not big. look at mine' i rolled my eyes and thought u were a freak i turned away and you did the same too
then later on the very same day my name was called i mixed with the group and then yours too you came along for the ride i was shock, displeased still i manage to hid it well
in one group we walked through the rain running here and there to get the administrative job done and finally room selection began and people to live with was selected
random it was as numbers was appointed to everyone but then again, you came into my group. again, i was shock, displeased. but again, i hid it well.
getting to know the group we exchanged names and shook hands but when it came to you i just brushed you off.
we entered the haven our newly found home i happily picked my bed in the center of the room all safe and secure away from the scary door and the dark windows
surprisingly you stood infront of your bed looking at it, somehow observing it and i notice your bed was directly infront of mine and somehow i felt ever safer. even warmth from within.
for 2whole weeks we stayed within and somehow i guess we got to know each other even more our group, 10 strangers got to know one another and slowly, bonds we formed.
unknowingly, i was drawn towards you and you, the same. vice versa. for now you may not say so, but trust me, i know you were.
we talked on and on getting to know each other even more and the bag incident was forgotten about and a whole new chapter started.
the more we talked the more i was happy and the more i see you smile so id assume you were happy too.
you told me things that you wanted to be of a secret i guess you began to trust me and i too on you.
we spend more time together just talking and playing games.
and then it became known we were inseperable or so they say. i didnt thought so i just thought you were someone i could look for when i was down you were someone i could confide in you were a friend.
i began to feel a chemistry an intensity a connection a deep bond that ive never felt before since the previous 2 years. and again, i know you felt it too.
soon later we parted ways divided into a different group i saw your depression i wanted to save you but i just couldnt because the people in your group i know i wont be able to get along with them so i cowered and i realise now im not a true friend enough to stand up on my own two feet and to give as an excuse i had others who needed me in the group but i knew you needed me most instead, i let you down.
thats where the downfall began in 2 different groups it seems those in yours couldnt accept that we were good friends and that we spent most of the time talking together hence, misunderstandings from your side words were spoken somewhat untrue
you were deeply affected avoiding me. i was your shadow watching over you from far away
it didnt feel right to not talk to you and not be by your side i felt lost once again
communication falters the chemistry the bond the intensity all faded away and it seems to me, that 5months of friendship has gone to waste misunderstandings and rumours being the reason
up till now from july till now i felt lonely i felt miserable and as ive said i felt lost.
i know i cant act like the only miserable person around in the whole world but it seems i just cant mend this broken heart unable to move on instead i just put on a show a front. to avoid questions to avoid the pain.
and i just want to leave a note PS: I Love You. still
Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.
Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.
She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. He always liked to do things early, way before the time. Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.
She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair. While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.
A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door
She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?
"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know." "The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."
"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year. There also is another thing, that I think you should know, He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."
"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here, That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year." She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.
Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... "Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."
"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. I have always loved you and I know I always will. But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him, And place the roses where we are, together once again."
Rahman's Note: reminds me of PS: I Love You. =) and just as a sign, i woke up and saw Hilary Swank on Rachael Ray. once again, Happy Valentine's Day for you lovebirds and Happy Friendship Day for you singletons (like me)
well today... i went to the zoo!! after a million years.. FINALLY i went to the zoo. went there once when i was 10 pls!! its like more than a decade ago! ahh~ more memories to add. went with emmanuel. farid. kiwi. it was all last minute plan one...
yesterday emmanuel called me asking if im free today and i said yes. at first he ask me go out only the two of us. he said get ready for long walks and alot of sun. i thought okay. can have a heart2heart talk with him. but later on...like an hour or two later he said, farid and kiwi dragged themselves along. i was like WOKAYYY. weird but..WOKAYYY.... and today after picking kiwi and farid up i found out...we're going to the zoo..... i was like OMG! no shitz. n emmanuel was like..SURPRISE. im like. YAY! lol.
so we reached the zoo. wow. not bad la. but dont have uob/ocbc atm. so i was abit restricted of cash. i had like only $17 on hand only. DAMMIT. went in and explore the whole place we're like tourists. snap pictures here n there. *snap snap!* we watched the - Safari Fights Back - SplashZone HAHAHAHA! Mabel: Welcome to the *pause* Splash *accent*Zoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Rahman : I WANNA GET IN THE zoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee HAHAHAHAHA. omg la that girl. with that 'thick' 'accent'. and the 'U KIDS BETTER SIT DOWN AND BEHAVE' eyes of hers. we ran here. we ran there. i felt childish all over again. saw alot of animals!
then the stupid zoo had this Zoo Run thingy going on. so alot of the rides had to stop operation quite early sorry emmanuel. no tram rides this time. BOOO~~ next time okay? =) we're cool.
all in all. i enjoyed myself today. thanks for jio-ing me out manny. woots!
ok i need to backtrack abit before i blog about today. =X heh. i think this was last week? last friday i think.... heh so Jason had cravings for Japanese Curry and he told me to head to The Central cause apparently, its all japanese cuisine there yes its true BUT, it all opens after 6. DAMMIT. so we ended up at waraku. =)
cozy cozy place to be in. =) service was great. minus the fact that they are china people. heh. i had a great view, if not for the fact that it was raining. dammit.
thats the menu.. yes im bored. THAT BORED. but the food looks great. just that it isnt...HALAL. yes yes. lecture me (u MUZLIMZ!)
after we ordered jason wanted to make a bird (origami) out of the chopstick holder there was instructions given see see the paper leaflet thingy
and the food came!!! jason's pork cutlet with rice and vegetable curry. i cant have a taste. DAMMIT.
my chicken teriyaki with mayonaisse and rice (i like it cause its sticky sticky so its very filling) the soup thingy (which jason proclaim is some soya bean thingy paste) is actually not bad.
and this egg thingy. i like it taste like egg. yumyum! =)
thats about it for that day heh. but today... well, i woke up early! for a morning run....WOOT~ at none other than ECP!
yea. thats my route! heh. it was gps-ed by the iPhone fuction..iMapMyRun. very reliable. WOOT. 7km worth of running man! like i said i nid my bangin body back. afterwhich, I WATCHED THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED (For me that is, ive been waiting) BRIDE WARS! =)
id rate it....4/5! =) i cant make it 5/5 cause later people say i biase i like the show. its cute. its funny. its entertaining. its about friends. and knowing your back is covered by a good friend. even though when friends fight, they tend to kiss and make up in the end. i love it. it had a twist in the end. so i love it. hah. i dragged jason to watch it. woot~
afterwhich we went to have.. i dont know what to call it cause it isnt dinner. it isnt lunch. @ The Soup Spoon. heh.
i ordered the clamchowder with chicken wrap (bottom) he ordered some beef thingy and prawnwrap thingy (above) i have to say, i like the clam chowder n this is just the regular size im already full...
i saw mount olympus today! hahaha~ the sun was rising and there it looks like that! well, the clouds that covered the sunrise, it looks like mount olympus. Aphrodite. where are thou be, shall cupid send his arrows through my heart any sooner? ok, im just crapping shizzy loads.
anyways, i had breakfast with Yason the day before and before that, well i ran for my usual 7.5km. =) i nid that bangin bod! woot~~~ so anyways, i smell bad after which... (i know, HUSH) but i did change to another shirt. hais. still smell.
went to geylang for breakfast and had...PRATA! with my noneother than BLUEBERRY DRINK. only yason knows i love those.... then he had to go for some cca talk thingy. as in his jc cca - BizClub. LOL! some business.entreprenuer club thingy. apparently he said his club open a cafe called.. Perkafe (picture below)
i was suppose to just send him and his friend (joanne) (ahem ahem, jason's new girlfriend!) but i ended up exploring MJC! (my first time pls) and saw his cafe thingy..
and there you go! lol. thats his cafe. cute right? MJCians knows it cause its right above the canteen. they got a pool table, in which i didnt shoot. sorry. =( so anyways, the talk-cum-presentation. i thought he was overdressed. but noooooooooo, there was another guy who also wore something like he did.
in anycase, joanne is like on the extreme left (then again shes the only girl so go figure!) nowonder hes so dressed up. he wanted to IMPRESS! *smiles*
and the new cca batch. well not so new since they're J2s... theyre a dead bunch to talk to. even I got annoyed but whatever. =) i was the (smelly) supporter of the day! YAY!
and we tried the Cold Rock Creamery. not bad. overpriced but not bad still. i like the smashing things together idea. =) loves....
in other news... brit brit was shot not literally but photographically and look at that bangin body of hers!
Yowza! i feel the temperature rising up!!! i just need those gloves! ahh~~
and last but not least a cute rendition of 'If You Seek Amy'
all the boys and all the girls are begging to F U C K Me.