A New Year, A New Blog, A New RaE

again

2009-05-07T00:31:00.003+08:00

its that time again
when i dread to update posts.
because clearly
im not in the right state of mind

as they say
life has to go on
but to me
the feelings are always and will always be deeply embedded within my heart

but right now
im just desperate
desperate to see you
to see you,
again.

your face
your breath
your hand
your touch
your smile
your laughter
your very being right infront of me.
i want to see you.

begging

2009-04-02T00:59:00.001+08:00

clearly
yes i havent moved on.
but please
get the idea that i somehow
i dont really have much of feelings for you anymore
im begging you already
i havent begged anyone before
and your the first
im not here to tarnish your name
or your image
or your life

i just want to be back
as a friend
and i hope you understand
please.

im just hurt
that im rejected.

Looking back...

2009-02-23T20:32:00.002+08:00

i still remember the days....

the first time we met
and laid eyes on one another
the first thing you said to me was
'your bag is not big. look at mine'
i rolled my eyes
and thought u were a freak
i turned away
and you did the same too

then later on
the very same day
my name was called
i mixed with the group
and then yours too
you came along for the ride
i was shock, displeased
still i manage to hid it well

in one group
we walked through the rain
running here and there
to get the administrative job done
and finally
room selection began
and people to live with was selected

random it was
as numbers was appointed to everyone
but then again,
you came into my group.
again,
i was shock, displeased.
but again, i hid it well.

getting to know the group
we exchanged names
and shook hands
but when it came to you
i just brushed you off.

we entered the haven
our newly found home
i happily picked my bed
in the center of the room
all safe and secure
away from the scary door
and the dark windows

surprisingly
you stood infront of your bed
looking at it, somehow observing it
and i notice
your bed was directly infront of mine
and somehow
i felt ever safer.
even warmth from within.

for 2whole weeks
we stayed within
and somehow i guess
we got to know each other even more
our group, 10 strangers got to know one another
and slowly, bonds we formed.

unknowingly,
i was drawn towards you
and you, the same. vice versa.
for now you may not say so,
but trust me, i know you were.

we talked
on and on
getting to know each other even more
and the bag incident
was forgotten about
and a whole new chapter started.

the more we talked
the more i was happy
and the more i see you smile
so id assume you were happy too.

you told me things
that you wanted to be of a secret
i guess you began to trust me
and i too on you.

we spend more time together
just talking
and playing games.

and then it became known
we were inseperable
or so they say.
i didnt thought so
i just thought
you were someone i could look for when i was down
you were someone i could confide in
you were a friend.

i began to feel a chemistry
an intensity
a connection
a deep bond that ive never felt before
since the previous 2 years.
and again,
i know you felt it too.

soon later
we parted ways
divided into a different group
i saw your depression
i wanted to save you
but i just couldnt
because the people in your group
i know i wont be able to get along with them
so i cowered
and i realise now
im not a true friend enough
to stand up on my own two feet
and to give as an excuse
i had others who needed me in the group
but i knew you needed me most
instead, i let you down.

thats where the downfall began
in 2 different groups
it seems those in yours
couldnt accept
that we were good friends
and that we spent most of the time talking together
hence, misunderstandings from your side
words were spoken
somewhat untrue

you were deeply affected
avoiding me.
i was your shadow
watching over you
from far away

it didnt feel right
to not talk to you
and not be by your side
i felt lost
once again

communication falters
the chemistry
the bond
the intensity
all faded away
and it seems to me,
that 5months of friendship has gone to waste
misunderstandings and rumours being the reason

up till now
from july till now
i felt lonely
i felt miserable
and as ive said
i felt lost.

i know i cant act like the only miserable person around
in the whole world
but it seems
i just cant mend this broken heart
unable to move on
instead
i just put on a show
a front.
to avoid questions
to avoid the pain.

and i just want to leave a note
PS: I Love You.
still

Happy Valentine's Day

2009-02-14T09:18:00.003+08:00

Valentine Roses
A touching story.......

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.
He always liked to do things early, way before the time.
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance."

"There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.
There also is another thing, that I think you should know,
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."

"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."

"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.
I have always loved you and I know I always will.
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."

"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."

"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,
And place the roses where we are, together once again."

Rahman's Note:
reminds me of PS: I Love You. =)
and just as a sign, i woke up
and saw Hilary Swank on Rachael Ray.
once again,
Happy Valentine's Day for you lovebirds
and Happy Friendship Day for you singletons (like me)

ZOO!

2009-02-07T23:33:00.003+08:00

well today...
i went to the zoo!!
after a million years..
FINALLY i went to the zoo.
went there once
when i was 10 pls!! its like more than a decade ago!
ahh~ more memories to add.
went with emmanuel. farid. kiwi.
it was all last minute plan one...

yesterday emmanuel called me
asking if im free today and i said yes.
at first he ask me go out only the two of us.
he said
get ready for long walks and alot of sun.
i thought okay. can have a heart2heart talk with him.
but later on...like an hour or two later
he said, farid and kiwi dragged themselves along.
i was like WOKAYYY. weird but..WOKAYYY....
and today
after picking kiwi and farid up
i found out...we're going to the zoo.....
i was like OMG! no shitz.
n emmanuel was like..SURPRISE.
im like. YAY! lol.

so we reached the zoo.
wow. not bad la. but dont have uob/ocbc atm.
so i was abit restricted of cash.
i had like only $17 on hand only. DAMMIT.
went in and explore the whole place
we're like tourists. snap pictures here n there.
*snap snap!*
we watched the
- Safari Fights Back
- SplashZone
HAHAHAHA!
Mabel: Welcome to the *pause* Splash *accent*Zoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Rahman : I WANNA GET IN THE zoneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
HAHAHAHAHA. omg la that girl.
with that 'thick' 'accent'.
and the 'U KIDS BETTER SIT DOWN AND BEHAVE' eyes of hers.
we ran here. we ran there.
i felt childish all over again.
saw alot of animals!

then the stupid zoo had this
Zoo Run thingy going on.
so alot of the rides had to stop operation quite early
sorry emmanuel. no tram rides this time. BOOO~~
next time okay? =) we're cool.

all in all.
i enjoyed myself today.
thanks for jio-ing me out manny.
woots!

PS:
pictures are here and here

eventful

2009-02-03T20:56:00.006+08:00

ok i need to backtrack abit before i blog about today. =X
heh. i think this was last week?
last friday i think.... heh
so Jason had cravings for Japanese Curry
and he told me to head to The Central
cause apparently, its all japanese cuisine there
yes its true
BUT, it all opens after 6.
DAMMIT. so we ended up at waraku. =)

cozy cozy place to be in. =)
service was great. minus the fact that they are china people.
heh. i had a great view, if not for the fact that it was raining.
dammit.

thats the menu..
yes im bored. THAT BORED.
but the food looks great. just that it isnt...HALAL.
yes yes. lecture me (u MUZLIMZ!)

after we ordered
jason wanted to make a bird (origami) out of the chopstick holder
there was instructions given
see see the paper leaflet thingy

and the food came!!!
jason's pork cutlet with rice and vegetable curry.
i cant have a taste. DAMMIT.

my chicken teriyaki with mayonaisse
and rice (i like it cause its sticky sticky so its very filling)
the soup thingy (which jason proclaim is some soya bean thingy paste)
is actually not bad.

and this egg thingy.
i like
it taste like egg. yumyum! =)

thats about it for that day heh.
but today...
well, i woke up early!
for a morning run....WOOT~
at none other than ECP!

yea. thats my route!
heh. it was gps-ed by the iPhone fuction..iMapMyRun.
very reliable. WOOT. 7km worth of running man!
like i said i nid my bangin body back.
afterwhich,
I WATCHED THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED (For me that is, ive been waiting)
BRIDE WARS! =)

id rate it....4/5! =)
i cant make it 5/5 cause later people say i biase
i like the show.
its cute. its funny. its entertaining.
its about friends. and knowing your back is covered by a good friend.
even though when friends fight,
they tend to kiss and make up in the end. i love it.
it had a twist in the end. so i love it.
hah.
i dragged jason to watch it. woot~

afterwhich we went to have..
i dont know what to call it
cause it isnt dinner. it isnt lunch.
@ The Soup Spoon. heh.

i ordered the clamchowder with chicken wrap (bottom)
he ordered some beef thingy and prawnwrap thingy (above)
i have to say, i like the clam chowder
n this is just the regular size
im already full...

thats about it. =)
xoxo

MJC Explore - Perkafe

2009-01-29T20:19:00.006+08:00

i saw mount olympus today!
hahaha~
the sun was rising and there it looks like that!
well, the clouds that covered the sunrise,
it looks like mount olympus.
Aphrodite. where are thou be,
shall cupid send his arrows through my heart
any sooner?
ok, im just crapping shizzy loads.

anyways, i had breakfast with Yason the day before
and before that,
well i ran for my usual 7.5km. =)
i nid that bangin bod! woot~~~
so anyways, i smell bad after which...
(i know, HUSH)
but i did change to another shirt. hais. still smell.

went to geylang for breakfast
and had...PRATA! with my noneother than
BLUEBERRY DRINK. only yason knows i love those....
then he had to go for some cca talk thingy.
as in his jc cca - BizClub. LOL!
some business.entreprenuer club thingy.
apparently he said his club open a cafe
called..
Perkafe (picture below)

i was suppose to just send him and his friend (joanne)
(ahem ahem, jason's new girlfriend!)
but i ended up exploring MJC! (my first time pls)
and saw his cafe thingy..

and there you go!
lol. thats his cafe. cute right?
MJCians knows it cause its right above the canteen.
they got a pool table,
in which i didnt shoot. sorry. =(
so anyways,
the talk-cum-presentation.
i thought he was overdressed.
but noooooooooo,
there was another guy who also wore something like he did.

in anycase,
joanne is like on the extreme left (then again shes the only girl so go figure!)
nowonder hes so dressed up.
he wanted to IMPRESS! *smiles*

and the new cca batch.
well not so new since they're J2s...
theyre a dead bunch to talk to.
even I got annoyed
but whatever. =)
i was the (smelly) supporter of the day!
YAY!

and we tried the Cold Rock Creamery.
not bad.
overpriced but not bad still.
i like the smashing things together idea.
=) loves....

in other news...
brit brit was shot
not literally but photographically
and look at that bangin body of hers!

Yowza! i feel the temperature rising up!!!
i just need those gloves! ahh~~

and last but not least
a cute rendition of 'If You Seek Amy'

all the boys and all the girls are begging to
F U C K Me.

well thats about it.
TTFN!

Driving

2009-01-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

i was sad.
real sad.

so i took the car keys,
and set the engine on,
blasting the radio away.

on to the road i go.
having no destionation in mind
windows wind down,
speed begun to pick up,
and the wind
slowly getting stronger (and stronger).

my hair flowed back
and the sun
shining brightly over my head
with the shades on
(hiding the sad looking eyes within)
looking chic and glammed.

liberation.
freedom.
i was like a bird
confined in a cage
being set free.
with the car,
i could go anywhere
(anywhere and everywhere my heart desires)
i went on and on,
going to the north
then to the west
slowly heading to the south
and back to the east.

home once again.
suppressing the tears
i blast away the music
and on my toes i am
pirroute-ing.

~

thats what driving does to me
its almost like theraphy
for awhile, i feel like i can go anywhere
but when you park that car back into the lot
underneath your house,
your back into reality.
i dont like driving,
but i like the feeling it gives me
especially when im all alone in the car
and behind the wheels i am.

Dream

2009-01-26T12:03:00.000+08:00

and again.
i woke up tearing.
this time. i dreamt of you
having your arms all around me
i felt so secure.
your laughter and your smile
warmed my heart.
your needing me
made me feel wanted.

it made memories flood back.
the days where we hung out.
the days where we played.
the days where you will always come looking for me.

i would poke you
and you would scream and moan in agony,
getting all dramatised
trying to make me smile and laugh.
i would sing and make stupid faces
trying to return the favour.

and because of some complications,
we had to drift apart.
'id be happy if you leave me alone'
you said to me,
and that i did.

everyday
i wonder how your doing.
praying...
for your safety
for your health
for you.
im hoping
your living a better off life
than i am. =)

almost.
like.
very.
in.
negligence.

ps:
a shoutout to emmanuel.
MY DEAR BOY!
i wanted to reply your tag, but what the hell
it would be tooooooo longgggggggg.
first,
IT WAS A LAST MINUTE LUNCH.
@4pm. on a tuesday. at parkwayparade.
all of which, we were pretty sure u cant make it.
second,
we have to have our lunchdate
eating...AYAM BUAHKELUAK!
we procrastinated too much.....
I MISS YOU. =(

Happy 21st Jason

2009-01-20T02:23:00.001+08:00

Happy Birthday to Jason Chan. =)
its his 21st! and he says it neednt be special.
ITS THE DAMN BLOODY 21ST pls.
can someone knock that into that tiny brain of his?
haha. see. after celebrate then happy right?
haiyoooooooo. tsk.

id like to thank you for
withstanding my shits
and my nonsense thus far
because you have not seen me
in my true light. LOL.
thanks also for
running down to islandcreamery at 10pm
just for icecreams
and also the normal breakfasts
after night shifts! hah. =D
(though that now is hard to find time for)

i hope
that now your 21 (honestly, hes 50)
your gonna go and achieve your goals!
work hard at geylang (yes people, hes a police officer)
and get that damn bloody sgt rank. WOOT! (here comes april)
pay pay increase increase!
but im pretty sure
that being 21 now and all LEGAL
hes gonna go down that lorong 10
and *ahem ahem* (if u get my drift that is. =P)
or go to some secluded cinema
and watch those R21 shows. excited much yet yason?

the things he got for me. =)
hei icecream and bodyshop is loves!
but through the storm is even more loves.
been waiting for like 2mths for it.
chilling out with an icecream and a good book (reviewed at 4stars @ amazon.com)
at 2am. im set to go for my first off. =)

once again...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JASON CHAN.
make that HAPPY 21ST. =)
go n screw around now.
ur legal.

ps:
a shoutout
and a happy birthday to...
22 Jan 09 - Vivek (curviv) 20th Birthday
23 Jan 09 - Andrew's 21st Birthday

May all ur dreams come true this year guys.
xoxo. - rahman

Outing

2009-01-18T02:09:00.004+08:00

today.
i had a blast.
minus ditching someone. =X.
i had to ditch him. and no clayder, not you. =P.

went out with
THEODORA FAROUQ AND SHEILA!
and i have to say
the two girls...
they blossom pretty well...
i like both theo's and sheila's hairdo.
its soo....u know those dove hair shampoo advertisement kinda hair?
*swish swash swish swash*
niceeee. gorgeous.
especially with theo's brown hair. hah
and sheila, im actually stunned.
as ive said, she blossomed.
i wouldn't mind her being my teacher. =)
hah. lucky adib! whee~

so anyways, on to the outing
i was late. as per usual.
but because of errands and lunch appointments. =p.
i met up with them at Marina Square's Kenny Rogers.
woot~
i like the mac&cheese! yummy-licious. like me. XD.
n the chicken. YUM YUM.
its kenny rogers style alright.
then theo had this wraparound thingy food thing.
when she ate it,
it kept drippinggggggggggggg yellow stuff. =P

after dinner, we walked around
and decided to go bowling!
whee~
well i suck but hey. who cares. we play..FOR FUN.

and we...GOT LOST finding my aunts car.
LOL! and that stupid NANDHAR or however u spell it
BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE. and the irony?
he was at the customer service counter. =.=
security my ass. customer service? MY ASS!

but after a few hours. and some help from kumar (or umar)
we manage to find the car! yayness!
haha. then i drove them home.
all in all, i love today. =)
i love them. sheila theo and farouq.
xoxo

PS:
pictures are here

Blahs

2009-01-12T15:12:00.002+08:00

my heart remains broken
but i have to move on
with the pain and the broken spirit
because why?
theres more problems out there in the world
and i cant just sit back on my problems
and sulk...
ive to be the bigger person

the world
recession
leading to unemployment
bombings
leading to deaths of family and friends
and singapore?
im stuck in this dreaded GST and ERP-loving state
im sad
now this is
........
reality

out of the tabloid dreams rahman.
out of it.

rahman
its 2009.
new resolutions made.
and i have to achieve them
even without you in my friend list
i can cry
i can groan
but nothing is going to come out of it
seriously. nothing.
except for more sadness

this year
i shall try for more adventure
be more daring
and more open
expression is the new selection

cruelty to rahman

2009-01-10T14:35:00.003+08:00

are you just plain cruel
or BEYOND EVIL.

going on a super discreet mission
deleting and minus-ing the people around
that aint the new expression
boy, your making me all astound

i cant believe your doing this
your hurting me more and more
by getting me off your list
and my eyes, they're getting the sores

im tired, ouh so tired
from this endless ramblings
because of you these words are inspired
(although im not one to complain, the irony) with all these complainings

heart to heart
i summon thee
heart to heart
so leave me be

the spirits from the netherworld
cross the line from between
and take this pain away from me
to lift the burden and leave me with ease

PS:
im not ready to fall again
im not interested in you
friends we stay

My heart feels...

2009-01-08T16:22:00.003+08:00

i woke up today
dreaming about you
you were in pain
and i cant bear to watch that

now,
im getting back that missing feeling
and i really hate it.
i want the friendship back
i really want it
i miss you
i worry for you
i keep thinking about you
i cry myself to sleep
just thinking that we're not friends anymore
i cant get myself out of this state
i cant get out from under
i cant start anew
i cant fly away
i dont want to say goodbye forever
i dont want the space between us to grow deeper and darker everyday

and last of all
my heart will never be unbroken
and it will stay broken
because
i have lost faith in love.

Joanna Pacitti - Out From Under.mp3 - Joanna

Happy New Year

2009-01-01T04:15:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year! =)

2008 was a rough year.
make that a very tough one
a whole lot of rollercoaster ride
but im hoping
just hoping and praying
that ill come out a better person

this year starts anew
and a whole new resolutions
or rather...TO DO LIST BY 2009!
hah.
so here i go.

1. Regain back on what was lost
2. Go blading ONCE (at least) a month with nana
(she says she wants to do a sport, so yea)
3. Run 10km in the Standard Chartered Marathon
4. Open up a new savings account and start the REAL savings
5. Go for at least ONE dance class
(be it hiphop or whatever)
6. Start baking more stuff!
(more cookies, cakes, muffins and more!!)
7. Explore more eateries in Singapore with the girls

thats it for now. will update if i can think of more.

once again.
happy new year

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-12-17T00:19:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

to none other than..

MISS FONG YI LIN! =)
i hope all your wishes will come true!
and also that all the best for your future endeavours
PLUS
congrats on ur great achievement!
n many will follow. =)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2008-12-11T22:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO....

TINA LI JING FANG!
ur 19 n that means your old....
heh.
i wish you all the best in your studies
and also your future endeavours
and hoping all your wishes will come true.

xoxo
rahman

quote

2008-12-11T17:51:00.003+08:00

was watching a clip on youtube
when i saw this quote

"Have you ever felt that others are always happy
while you are the only one who walks alone"
- Bangkok Love Story

truly touched by the quote
can relate to it i guess.

anyway...
the new CIRCUS cover is out! yayness

i think its smoking HOTT!
and not because im a superfan or anything. heh

its officially out

2008-12-02T17:49:00.001+08:00

CIRCUS IS OUT!

Update:
I COULDNT GET MY HANDS ON ONE!!
its sold out people. ITS BLOODY SOLD FUCKING OUT!

Update:
Sng got a copy for me!!
and imma get it next friday (DAYAM!)

Britney Performs WOMANIZER

2008-11-28T06:17:00.005+08:00

THE SAGA HAS BEGUN
BRITNEY PERFORMS WOMANIZER!

At Bambi Awards

At Star Academy

At X-Factor

At Good Morning America

Circus:

Womanizer:

Circus Promo

2008-11-21T20:50:00.000+08:00

Countdown Begins

2008-11-20T06:25:00.000+08:00

Countdown Officially Begins

Circus Promo Pic

2008-11-19T02:27:00.004+08:00

(Courtesy BreatheHeavy)

~All eyes in me in the center of a ring,
Just like a circus
When I quip that whip, everybody gonna trip,
Just like a circus
Don't stand there watching me, follow me,
Show me what you can do
Everybody let go, we can make a dancefloor,
Just like a circus~

Leaked

2008-11-17T14:52:00.002+08:00

Circus. Leaked.
AHHHH~
loved every inch of it.

~la la la la la la la la
ha ha he he ha ha ho
love me hate me
say what you want about me
all the boys and all the girls
are begging if you seek amy~

presenting

2008-11-13T10:50:00.004+08:00

PRESENTING

CIRCUS SAMPLE TRACKS (only 6)
-Womanizer
-Circus
-Out from Under
-Kill The Lights
-If You Seek Amy
-Unusual You

20 DAYS COUNTDOWN TO CIRCUS!
december 2nd here we come....

Nobody - Wondergirls

2008-11-05T23:58:00.007+08:00

shud i?
or shud i not. hais.
rahman rahman
your always in a dilemma

anyway
mao cheered me up with this.
u know me.
im not into korean thingy-s
but this totally attracted me.
cuteness and chirpy.
me likey....

Punishment

2008-11-04T23:51:00.005+08:00

i punish myself
for my own sins.

have i just convicted myself
to a broken heart?

you asked me why
i couldnt explain
i ignored you as the time goes by
because im in a great deal of pain

i want to tell you so badly
but i dont want to risk it
because you mean so much to me
and i dont ever want to lose you

so i punish myself
over and over again
i rid myself off you
as i sob and cry all night

i clutched myself
like a rocking crying child
letting my tears run down my cheek
waiting and waiting for your arrival

i dont feel safe anymore
as i realise this world is filled with evil
and as ive said before
i need my knight in that shining armour
(but ive sent you away)

Goodbye

2008-10-30T23:00:00.000+08:00

its been awhile
make that nearly a month since ive been gone
heh. why you ask?
i need my space as ive mentioned
like literally a million time.

anyway,
i've already poc-ed (passing out ceremony)
this means i dont have to go back
to homesweethome hta.
it really was home away from home
for basically 7months
ive alot of memories there
and i must say that the experience was unbelieveable
new friends made
and i love everyone of them, not literally. =)
people from tpjc whom i didnt know existed
came before my eyes and well,
i got to know them.
like stephen here!
and alwin (alvin actually. =P)heh.
primary school mates also popped up
and yes, they've grown up nicely too.
like sheer here,
and yason (shown below. =P)

bunk 31
ill miss you!
andrew darius xiangyang alvin
guodong sheer shaun nicholas syaqir
the people ive lived with for the first 4 months!
the joy to my heart!
hah. n yes some ghostly experience scared the shit
outta me n into alvins bed. =X
played charades monopoly
and a whole new game called...CATAN
its uncanny resemblance to...SATAN! lol. kidding. =P

bunk 30
the 2nd half of the hta stay
same faces? yes.
andrew xiangyang sheer were from my bunk. =)
so i didnt have much to deal with. heh.
then came in
adam
john jason jose kevin (ur the only k one =.= from bunk 3)
yes yes u guys
i love you guys as much as i love the same 3!
or mabbe a lil less? =X.
mabbe i didnt interact much with you guys
with the constant visit to the next bunk
but seriously, i had alot of fun with you guys. =)

to the other squadmates:
i've learn alot of new games during this 7mth
one being catanand the second being Im The Boss
which i love more. =P
its witty, bitchy and you gotta be very sly
like yason! =P.and the new people ive met
like danial, hamidi, timothy
and the rest
you guys were one of a kind
although i dont think we really did interact
im sure we're okay. =)

with that
goodbye squad 14/08 goodbye npc06/08 goodbye Blk 14 (W)Echo COY!
goodbye hta

division here i come!
im a POLICE OFFICER!

Womanizer Video Premiere

2008-10-11T13:13:00.008+08:00

and if u cant view using mtv's official.
then here's youtube. =)

--boy, dont try to front
i know just what you are--

remember

2008-10-05T22:10:00.002+08:00

...when i said i love you
and you thought it was a joke
i meant it
every word

if you know who you are
pls tell me you know

Womanizer

2008-09-27T05:45:00.005+08:00

Growing Back

2008-09-13T13:11:00.002+08:00

Watching the sun set
glowing ever so brightly
the orange amber slowly dissipating
into the darkness that surrounds

The soft wind
brushing against my skin
soothing the tension within
and whispering into my ears

Looking up
a leaf slowly falling down
floating weightlessly
and dancing with the breeze

I rest my back
against the bark of the tree
my hands gently rustling the grass batch below
when finally
the leaf landed on my thigh

I thought to myself
about this leaf
and how it had dispatched itself
from the rest of the other leaves still stuck to the tree

Freedom at its best
being on its own
and not afraid of what lay ahead of it
being independent of its own life

This is where i want to head myself to be
to be free of wherever and whatever i go and do
to be free of the pain that used to torture me
to be free of the anguish that drowned me

Freedom and control
My life
My time
The rahman that i once was
will be back.

PS:
this post will be my last update
for this time being

and to alex

i'm not throwing you away
because trust me
friends like you mean alot to me
just that i need my space
so as ive said earlier
i'll come back when i'm ready

Underground? VMA performance maybe?

2008-09-06T15:41:00.002+08:00

Im Sorry...

2008-09-05T16:11:00.005+08:00

...that i have to do this.
to take this drastic action.
but ive thought things through and through.

my sanity is at stake
my mind goes crazy thinking about this.
even when i dont want to think about it,
it just comes naturally
so i have to do it,
i just have to.

i've sent my last sms to
the one person who killed me
and the one person who was there to help me
i hope you both understand
ive to say goodbye to you guys
not only to the both of you
but to the whole clique
maybe this is not a goodbye
but a mere stint for me to have my own space
the pissed clan,
you know who you are,
so i shall not mention the names.
ill really miss you guys
because you guys are the ones who stood by me
and fooled around with me
during the jc times.
so dont worry,
ill find you guys when im ready
(ps: shuning, HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRL.
im sorry i cannot make it
but i really wish you all the best
in your future endeavours
always love,
rahman)

To both D and T:
i emailed you guys something
so take your time and read it.
(check both inbox and junkmail if you can't find it.)

ive lost myself
in this very deep delusion
and i cant help myself anymore
i need to find out who i am
who rahman is
and what rahman can do
so with that
i have to find my strength
and my foundation
of who i really am
which is why
im going back
to my roots, to those who were really there
when i needed them
to those i grew up with and had puberty with
throwing my tantrums, my ups and my downs
they are the ones who know me best
gary, hidayah, yati, hazirah, rodney, valerie
cheryl, peiyu, ke wee, chong han, nicholas, cleve
and most importantly shawn.
the whole of 5/1 clan
thats where i began
and thats where i shall find myself
once again.
and matthew, russell, pauline,
fernnice, hasita and the whole group
the fun bunch,
ill make sure,
that ill try my very best to be with you guys

Teardrops On My Guitar - Taylor Swift

Perk Me Up

2008-08-31T18:50:00.003+08:00

this video cheered me up.
its a picker-uppa!
stay tune for the last part. heh.
gotta love it.

Praying

2008-08-30T01:44:00.000+08:00

that you aint lying to me
because your words
are the only thing im holding on true

should i...

2008-08-29T21:32:00.002+08:00

leave the old me
and change for the better
and forget about the past
where the pain was endless
and start anew?

im really really tired
of feeling this way
im so sick of love songs
that seems to play

i cant forget the things that you did
because it lingers right within this tiny heart of mine
so right now im wishing
on the very star tonight
that i could forget the past
and start anew in this light

lost

2008-08-24T19:11:00.006+08:00

never have i felt this deep before

thinking about how things might have worked out

intensity was there, deep and profound

the love i had for you

vulnerable i was then

not knowing what to do with the feelings i had

liking you wasnt a sin

but loving you was

and now i have to pay

because our friendship will be at stake

Fun

2008-08-21T22:00:00.009+08:00

was released early this week!
yay! leave in lieu of national day!
so my squadmates decided to have dinner together
or somewhat dinner la hor. =X
we headed to PRATA HOUSE!
at thompson road. never been there before
so i was KINDA excited.
i aint a chihuahua. so i dun get excited easily okay. =P
so anyways it was kinda a longggggggggggggg
(yes i do mean it when i said long)
way before we reached the place.
about 1.5 hours of mrt/bus ride.
so upon reaching, we kinda had this trouble of getting a table
but in the end we had a long one for us. heh.
i think there was like 11-13 of us. i think.
so anyways, i ordered like 4 pratas. yes call me crazy man
i had:
bom prata, mushroom&cheese, plain and egg
i mean, since im there might as well just try all that im craving for right?
my verdict.
it was ok. =D. yes okay only
not that fantabulous as many say
but still nonetheless very nice to eat. =)
(kenneth/jason please send me pictures!)

then after that
emmanuel brought me, jason and shaun to Cheeky Chocolates!
its nearby to prata house.
a nice chic place to just chill out
n the bonus point is that
ur surrounded by...CHOCOLATES. yes. i know. heh.
so i got a box of 12 chocolates. affordable man.
for $26.60 =)
so i say to everyone. GO GET IT. heh

this is the pamphlet:

i had everything minus lemon and green tea. woot!

and ive to post some pictures and comment on them. =P

im totally in love with this picture. nana, we both look...HAWT

chui in this photo, is the bombshell model that she is.
HAWT HAWT HAWT
babe u gotta work it.

nana. u shud smile like this more often

ur pretty. =)

ah ning! is prettiest here

=) stay pretty okay.

thats it. lots of love.

my sanity

2008-08-17T17:14:00.002+08:00

'sometimes i run
sometimes i hide
sometimes im scared of you
but all i want is to hold you tight
treat you right
be with you day and night
baby all i need is time'
- Sometimes, Britney Spears

actually ive alot of songs
that resembles my position right now
but this is the best so far (i think)

and to everyone whose concerned about me
i thank you for your warm embrace
but i need to my space to think things thoroughly
and furthermore,
my situation is much too complicated to be told

in addition
ive manage to contain my feelings
and i dont want to unleash it
because i cant handle the pain and hurt
even a million knives stabbing at me,
im sure i could handle that
compared to the pain in the containment room

putting on a facade has been hard
but im getting used to it
to the mask that im using
i hope it gets placed there
not permanently
but temporarily enough for me to get back to where i was
to my normal state
my sanity

and just so to say
im not an emo shit
because my entries aint emo shittified
its just my ramblings
at the point of time that im writing it
so yea.

escapades

2008-08-17T13:33:00.002+08:00

said it
spilled it
broked it

my heart just sank
like the titanic that broke through the iceberg
and sunk 6 feet under

honesty

2008-08-15T20:05:00.002+08:00

im sorry about how closeted i am
about my feelings
towards the world right now
because i believe in this
my motto:

i cannot be honest to you right now
because i myself am not honest to myself

To The One That Matters

2008-08-10T12:32:00.002+08:00

looking out the window at 4am
i manage to allow the wind to soothe my pain
and my sorrows
i guess He manage to hear my cry
but sending a wind my way doesnt solve my issue

i dont know if you do read
but im just here
to pour out my thoughts
i apologise
from deep down inside
i truly am sorry
that i caused
my actions caused you pain
to tarnish your reputation
people talked behind our back
and went up straight to you
i guess you were strong to hold it
at first
but when it got worse
you had to take the bigger step
which made me confuse
lost
so you asked an another
to help you pass on the message
i heard your sorrows through another
and i dont know what else to say
except im sorry

Prayers

2008-08-10T02:36:00.003+08:00

The irony.
But im still going to do this.

lets all put our hands together
and pray to the almightyness
because a close friend of mine
his grandmother passed away
on 9 August 2008 at 6.05pm

my heartfelt condolences
shall she rest peacefully
in the comfort
and the loving hands of god
as she enters the gate of heavens
and into the garden of eden
for all eternity
in great happiness
god bless.

To God

2008-08-08T19:56:00.004+08:00

Watch 1:39 till 3:00
Piper Halliwell Moment #9

Quote:
"You better run while you can you little rodents
bet you guys think this is real funny dont ya
havent you taken enough from me
you have to send trolls to kick me while im down
i had a nice normal life once
and you took that from me
you took my boyfriend
you took my life
the least you could do is give me my freaking carkeys
im a good person
im a good witch
and damn it
i would have made a great wife
and how dare you take that away from me
i deserve
no, you know what
i demand
that you sent him back to me
you hear me
right now
im going to stand in this very spot until you send leo back to me"
-Piper Halliwell

My entry:

To kick me down when im already down
thats the lowest that you can ever go
You think i can climb back up that ladder
the status once you moulded me to be?

i already am having problems of my own
you put me into this position
you wrote me to be this way
you wrote my fate and my destiny
so im asking you now
is my destiny to be depress all the way?
because im too tired of all this
i really am
you took one friend
and now you took another
how could you?

and now
you happily pushed me down?
u made me sprain my ankle?
im already in pain
and now your making me feel more pain?
my tiny heart cant handle this.

i want to run away
i really want to run away from all this problems
but you just wont let me
i hate you for doing this to me
i really do.

why are you punishing me
i know i broke your rules
but i didnt mean to
you wrote me this way
and you expect me to behave differently?
i know
im already sentenced to hell
but must you let me feel pain on earth?

i thought id make a comeback
before the fall
i thought i had the strength and power back
by putting on the facade
and converting my anger into wrath and vengeance
because when i listen to britneys music
i thought i could get back the power
as she did
and make a powerpack combo
but i guess i thought wrong
because you had to kick me when i was down

when i do die
ill meet you
and i hope you'll answer my questions.

Killing Me Deep Inside

2008-08-03T13:53:00.004+08:00

my loneliness is killing me
so please, give me a sign

A Letter

2008-08-02T23:14:00.002+08:00

Dear Reader,

if your the person that i want you to be
the true reader of this letter
im sure you would know its you im talking about

ive fallen in the depths of love
or id say mere crushes before
but this time around
i would say it felt different
as though as the saying goes
'so near yet so far'

i felt as tho i could have held your hands
to have you right by my side
to feel secure beside you

trust me
for me to be your loved one
i would gladly say
that im an angel that is really sent from above
i need little from you to make me happy
because all i would want from you is
1. your attention
2. your endless shower of love and care and concern
3. you to be with me through thick and thin
and i would have given you my all

but now,
i guess im tumbling down
spiraling down, towards the pit of death
because anxiety got the better of me
a friend said im jealous
i couldnt admit it, but now yes id admit i am
but what could i do
jealousy and paranoia got the better of me
to have me act up all like that
im sorry if ive hurt you
or to even have scare you
but i dont want to get hurt all alone
so i shoot everyone down
to make myself feel better
but i guess it didnt
it made me feel worse

i hope your happy now
without me all around you
and maybe, just hopefully, it is your loved one
that your spending time with
because trust me
that person do not want to be lead on
so i pray everyday
that you and your partner would be happy

with lots of love
xoxo
Rahman

Lying is Bad

2008-08-02T22:39:00.002+08:00

the moment i found out you went out
and not with whom you said you were going out with
i cant believe you lied to me
i cant believe you would deceive me
yes i did say dont call me up
you told me you were gonna celebrate
but otherwise occured
i couldn't believe what i heard from a source
my mind just could not function any longer
my heart aches again, and i would want to tear again
but im holding back
trying to stay strong and keeping my sanity
i wanted to be happy today
but when i got the news, i broke down inside
like i mentioned a million times, i cant believe it
i cant cant cant cant believe it
i swear
your promoted from being an asshole
to a bastard.
thats who you are to me now

once a friend told me
in such a situation, one would feel betrayed
and i told him that was ridiculous
but now to have it happen to me
id have to agree with him
i swear betrayal hurts
like a stab in the back

I can't believe you would lie
fine, it wouldn't be considered to be a lie
since i told you not to ask me
in justice you have won
but in my heart
trust me, your hurting me more than i can hurt you

rahman hasn't shown his other side
and please dont make him show it
because it wouldn't be pleasant
and besides
both sides would lose out

when i said 'rahman is hardened'
it hasnt occured yet
its just the beginning
onto the path of being cold, hard steel
so please dont hurt me now
let me heal and get into the transition

yes i did say id give A up to you
but i need my time and space
so please
during this point in time
do not make any moves
that would kill me deep inside

It's Hard

2008-08-02T10:25:00.003+08:00

I never thought that this would be hard
the rollercoaster that occured was too much for me
The emotions that was going up and down
brought tears in my eyes

How am i too face you ever again
because the friendship that we had,
i tainted it with my dumb actions

But this was all because
i had this feeling which i never thought i would have
Yes, im in submission now
Yes, im green with envy
The jealousy that consumed my mind
made me paranoid beyond words can explain

This was all because
i fell into the deep abyss of a crush
that turned into an obsession of making you mine
but when an obstacle popped up
i always thought i could jumped over it

Boy was i wrong
because this hurdle that i am about to jump
concerned another human being
whose feelings i know i have hurt

I never wanted to hurt this another
but because he too was running for you
i became defensive
but my heart says it all

As much as i want you to be mine
i know i can't have it
or rather if i could have it
i would not want it
the irony of me.

Rahman Is Hardened

2008-08-01T21:50:00.002+08:00

Rahman is hardened
his heart now knows no emotions
because when he seems to care
no one else bothers about it
his too big a heart
was made full use of
taken advantage of
so now that he couldn't take it
he turned himself into cold steel
like a robot, functioning without a heart
fighting his surroundings
feeling no pain, no suffering
and at the same time
he feels no joy, no happiness
his empathy has gone.
So now,
Rahman is hardened.

Lean On Me

2008-07-27T15:53:00.005+08:00

Listening to this song
ive decided that friendship is more important than
falling in love
so now, ive decided
that ill give up on what i actually love
for the one friend that i can say i trust now.

because in the future
i may need your shoulder to cry on
i need a friend to lean on
when troubles flood into my terrain
so i hope you would take this chance
to actually let your love dreams come true
and be happier than ever before

it may be hard for me to see
a friend of mine with someone i know
i want to be with
but id rather suffer of love
then to suffer the shipwreck of our friendship

D: Take it or Leave It

2008-07-26T22:46:00.000+08:00

butterflies in your stomach?
CHECK
the jump for joy feeling when ur nearby?
CHECK
electricity when i feel your touch?
CHECK

great. all is checked.
now lies to one question.
CRUSH? or... INFATUATION?
ive no idea how im feeling right now.
i dont know what else to say already.
people in my position would say im in love?
but i wouldnt want to use it because
love is too strong a word to be used
and only to be used when the time is right
and when you really mean it.
not like those mere small boygirl relationship ur having?
sighs. i cant do this shit no more.
this is the third time im feeling this way
and i always get the impossible to come.
but from a few rumours
this time around, it might not be impossible.
if what D is says is true
i cud say CHECK in no time soon.
but i still think differently
because D, i think its for you to take
and not mine.

the heart vibration moment
was clearly a sign
make that...
a MAJOR sign for you
and yet you didnt take it hard
you didnt go for it
you didnt bother to open up and ask questions

im just an ideal medium
for you both to stick to one another
its as simple as that
so take it
and dont break me doing so

Celebrations

2008-07-20T18:18:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday
To Me

Tomorrow's my big day
its RAHMAN's day puhleese. =)
if you havent been notified,
ur just not well-informed. =P.

its my...BIRTHDAY.
and first and foremost
i want to extend my gratitude to...
Alvin, Amina, Saba, Daryl, Farouq
for making yesterday's small outing great
yes yes...it was a surprise.
i swear i didnt expect it until...
saba's burning pants. =P. if u get my drift.
haha.
im touched and am appreciative of your efforts
but really, im juz too full to eat the cake! haha.
nonetheless, it was a great day. (minus the end of the day that is.)

and thanks for the wishes hidz.
kirim salam your momsie.

anyway back to topic
im stuck in camp for the big day
hopefully no one knows of it.
minus alvin. so hushhh okay alvin =)
lots of love. ROARS.
i juz want to spend that day with my loved ones
but unfortunately, i cant. big BOO.
instead im stuck with my darling bunkmates.
they're great but not great enough.
hah. no offence guys.
i love my bunkmates but not to the extend of death.
if u get that line anyway.

i guess im starting to like the alphabet A
amicable
astonishment
affable
now shudnt you like the alphabet A too? =)
and besides, good grades = grade A aint it? =P.
blahs.

i guess thats all for now.
XOXO

PS:
i just want to hear you say im beautiful

Ramblings

2008-07-13T03:08:00.000+08:00

I don't see why i have to continue to live,
because i don't wish to see myself dead
without ever being married to you.

The loneliness of this world has overwhelmed me
i need you to be right here with me.
Pictures of us has always been playing in my eyes
like romance movies, picture perfect.
But always, it would end abruptedly,
because this reality had sets us apart.
These imaginations were purely fictional.
But if any genie appeared before me,
and grant me one wish,
id want this fiction to become nonfiction.

Happy Birthday Gary

2008-06-15T18:31:00.004+08:00

This picture says

"MOVE BACK BITCHES
ITS BRITNEY COMING THROUGH"

Booo.
as always, im heading back to camp... in a few hours time
make that, in an hour. =.=
blahs. anyway a few shoutouts?

To Gary:
Dude, i hope you had a good time on saturday
it was... YOUR BIRTHDAY
you've turned 20. OLDIE. haha. kiddin
my turn will soon come. blahs.
my wishes for u on ur future endeavours (Cliche eh?)
and also in whatever you do! (they mean the same in different wordings.)
since they're cliches (heh), id wanna put some of my words

Garyyyyy,
you've been there for me through thick and thin
through sadness and tears
and also through happiness and sunshine beers.
We've had alot of fun
and a little fight back when we were young
(when i say young, i mean secondary school time =.=)
tiny fights that was over the littlest things
ever like which way to walk home by
to buy bubble tea or not, etc
you've stuck by me when i needed you most
which is why i consider you as one of my BFF's
(even tho theres a saying friends forever dun last)
some troubles i had and you were there to guide me
to advice me (even tho back then it was baby-ish advices)
i swear you mean alot to me then ever.
im also sorry if i ever hurt/harmed you or your feelings in the past
and hope that our friendship will continue to last in the future.
so happy 20th birthday gary dude. =))

Ly:
Thanks for buying the tix for me on last minute call! =D
i owe you much!

well thats about it for now.
im so sleepy that i hope tonite, ill get my ample sleep. =))
ciaox

Chuis Birthday

2008-06-08T19:30:00.007+08:00

Our Star Of Friends.
The Pissed Clan. =)
(NYCTR + JAR + KTMAMA'S)

Before going back to the normalcy of HTA
i wanna pen this down here. =)
well, its been long since ive blogged, so why not eh?
hah.

To Chui:
I hope you had a great day on our saturday's outing
but i have to apologise for being there only at night.
=X. i have to say overall i had fun with you guys there. =)

Your birthday is your day
Many wishes will come your way
Your future endeavours is what im wishing you best for
because i know in life, you'll want more

The significance that marks your birth Entering this earth, your a gift from god for your friends and families because overall, kang chui lin, like ive said earlier im blessed to have a friend like you. =D So thank you for being there for me for listening to my bitchings (or rather we SHARE it) and for me to annoy. =)

=)) i had fun. woot

For nana:
pls laugh more often. hah. ur favourite picture. =D

to that special someone:

Your scent is mine to smell. =)
Your presence is my present. =)
Your livelihood is mine to enjoy. =)
but in all, you are not mine.
But im blessed in some extent.
that is, god sent you my way.

again, i miss the scent. BOOO ='(

thats all for this week.
ooo, im growing fat all over again. BOOHOO.

I love this picture of us. =)
me is boiling HAWT. =)

TTFN

Sexual Intensity

2008-06-01T12:01:00.003+08:00

its been a freaking long time since i touched this.
hah. my bad.
ive been well...
emo-ing (about uni stuff =X)
getting killed in ns (well not really, its chalet. =D)
and...
ive no idea wad else

sexual intensity
my question to you:
have you ever, like ever...
had this connection with someone
(and that someone is having the same connection to you)
and both of you have this huge urge
to come together
and to be one?
I mean, its not romance
just like a mere animal instinct
to pounce upon one another
and just make love
right there and then.

mycuriousity is taking control over me.
haha.
im juz a curious little boy
who wants to explore the world, no?
=P.

anyway
ive fallen in love with another song.
Leavin by Jesse McCartney
well, i fell in love with it because
of the cuteness of the song
a friend of mine in camp intro the song
and when he danced the song,
trust me people,
he looks like this adorable 5 yrold boy dancing
when the world isnt watching.
haha. =D.
"Dun stress Dun stress Dun stress...."
i like this line. hah.
which ill dedicate to mr Alvin. =D

thats all for now. =D
pls pray for rahman
cause tomorrow,
he's going to go through ippt
and he wants to pass it!
FOR CHUI SAKE! PASS PASS PASS IPPT!
JIAYOU RAHMAN!

Saturday Night Out

2008-05-04T18:17:00.004+08:00

miss popularity
is getting to my head
indeed it is causing my sanity
that it drove me to my bed

BLAHS.
tequila tequila!
dance dance. haha.
rahman has gone. BONKERS.
because its 2hours to booking in time.
thy liberty is taken from you in this time
and suffering shall start forth.
gibbering and rantings. =D
so anyways,
yesterday met up with
1. romey and alvin for Harold & Kumar
2. alvin and stephen for Ironman (FeMale according to sum1)
3. Lexy (still pissed), romey, chui and tina for romey's birthday belated 'celebration' cum chillout session

had a blast for the weekend.
tho it was juz a day
im fully contented by my weekend. =D

Celebration at George's Bar
Happy birthday to youuuuuuu
Happy birthday to youuuuuuu
Happy BIRTHDAY TO DEAR ROMEYYYYY
Happy Birthday to youuuuuuu

mr romey
ur allllll OLD NOW. 19 yrs old
OLDIE! haha. my turn coming soon.
that is. i turn 20! ROARS.
im lazy to talk much
so here's pictures. =D

tequila sunrise

romey and nana's date
(candlelight sia!!)

homemade brownie with icecream
yummylicious

some artistic shot that i tried.

=X failed miserably.

last of which,
our favourite
GROUP SHOT.
(fine im fat. i admit it. ROARS)

Blahs
thats all.
Many many manyyyyy
loves.

off to my sweet sweet.....
HTA. =))

rahman

2008-05-01T19:22:00.002+08:00

OKAY IM OUT. and im going back in.
DUMBNESS TO THE CORE AINT IT.
=P.

sumhow or another
people find it weird
that i talk in the 3rd person kinda way
like for example (to those who dont understand wads 3rd person)
"rahman loves BIG bags, shades and his blings
and not to forget, rahman loves TABLOIDS too. =D"

its not weird right?
coz i tink its cute. or rather,
it became a behaviour. heh.
and secondly,
my pronunciation is totally offfffffffffffffffffffffffffff.
words like FACULTY (heh, chui and the gang shud noe how i say this)
blahs...
ouh ouh! and also
i love to use the word...
SEMI. or so people say.
=X

well. imma get ready to go back camp.
boooooo
rahman is off to training!
because
i need that pre-britbrit (2004) body! =D

prays...
i dont need abs
i just need a toned figure
with toned arms.
thats all im asking for.

bald is IN

2008-04-19T11:42:00.002+08:00

confinement
constriction
thats what is all about

first note to start with:
dont you EVER pretend not to know me
just because im too overpopularised in the company
i didnt asked for it, i didnt want to be it
it just happened.
rumours go around, spreading like wildfire
my name is spoken in tongues in which i didnt know existed
i tell you, its not my fault
so if your embarassed to know me, i swear.
SCREW YOUR OWN ASS and thats for sure
because i believe
my friends STICKBYME.
period.

secondly
rahman is proud to say
he is the.....
Assistant Squad IC (NS 14!) and Bunk IC (Room 31 of Echo Coy)
well, i was picked out to be the bunk ic because
1) i was the first malay standing outside
2) i was the only one wearing this super bright red colour shirt
heh.
and for the asst squad ic,
self-volunteered? =D.
i want responsibilities
because i know
I KNOW (emphasised)
i can do it. =D. why? BECAUSE IM RAHMAN!
yeah.

third of all.
i am....
BRITNEY-FIED. in other words...BALD!
kinda happy, kinda sad. 50/50 la hor.
it does not. i repeat. BALD does not look hot on rahman.
only britney is the shiz!

fourth...
hmmm
OUH YA!
they say u go in ns u lose weight
i ontheotherhand GAIN weight. =((
i juz checked last night. i gained 2kg! ROARS

TTFN

NS 2

2008-04-08T06:46:00.002+08:00

as of now, i just msged people.
because im panic-ing for the last min.
ugh.
well the reality has juz sank in.
and yes, rahman will be dearly missed missing every1!

so
police rahman.
heh
SALUTE! =D
see ya.
and if i dun msg you
i beg you
PRAY FOR MY SAFETY OKAY?
lots of love.

raethebitch

Ramblings

2008-04-06T23:21:00.005+08:00

My usual ramblings
that i would pen down. =X
on the way to wherever im heading
with a paper and pen and me
it just happen to flow through.

this i wrote is specially meant for someone(S)
if u tink its u
den its highly possibly u
but im not gonna say hu.
so many loves.
=D

(PS: the 3 thingy is actually a G)

NS

2008-04-06T09:37:00.004+08:00

im left with today
and tomorrow
as for then
my freedom will be set free
the irony in my words

confinement period
new faces
all new experiences
a whole new beginning

ill pray to god
that ill survive this first 10 days
and that to be nice to new people
(aint i already a nice person. =D)

second in which ill pray
that my friends will continue to stay
by my side

this may be my last post
before i enter the hell of a hole.
saf period
now you shall take my soul.

-Rahman-

5.1 Outing Airport

2008-04-02T23:44:00.000+08:00

20 people
made my day.
thanks for coming you guys.
lots of love,
rahman.

Tears

2008-04-02T15:40:00.003+08:00

My tears really got all flowy when i was watching this on my friends dvd.
fuck. i cried.
My heart was totally broken.
this is a clip from the scene.

For the whole episode, ask me for the dvd
or watch them here.
Part 1 - here
Part 2 - here
Part 3 - here
Part 4 - here
Part 5 - here
Part 6 - here

Prisoners

2008-04-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

now
you
dont
imagine
prisoners
in
camp
dancing
dont
you?
=D

Inside My Heart

2008-04-01T02:13:00.002+08:00

This is typically the most favourite song ive ever had from hi5
if i could, id sing this to that special someone. =D

Lyrics:
There's a place in my heart
And it's there just for you
Inside your heart
Is where dreams can come true

Put your hand in mine
Take one step at a time
There's a place in my heart ... for you

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
Inside my heart

There's a place in our house
And it's there just for you
Inside our house
There's a room with a view

Just knock on the door
I'll be there for sure
There's a place in our house ... for you

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)

Inside my heart
Inside my heart
Inside my mind
Inside my body, you will find
Strength and love and happiness
You'll find a way to be your best
Be your best

Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
There's a place for you
Always and forever (Always and forever)
Inside my heart
Inside my heart

PS: its not an april's fools joke when i said this song is my favourite. =D

A Moment Of Sweetness

2008-03-30T23:06:00.003+08:00

funny how i see this picture
and it resembles something
means so much to me right now.
ud be smart if u noe wad im talkin abt. =D

My Obsession

2008-03-28T16:04:00.002+08:00

Happiness Is The Key

2008-03-27T01:15:00.004+08:00

Rahman is happy because:
1. he has all the tech gadgets that he was asking for (minus VIAO)
-Pretty pretty black sleek T200 Sony Cybershot Camera (let the camwhoring begin!)
--initially wanted a red one but was told it was not manufactured anymore. BOO!
-Pretty pretty black Western Digital 320GB MyBook External HardDisk
-Small and cute black ZenStone 2GB MP3!
practically all of which are black aint it. XD.

2. he just came back from KL & Genting Holidays!
-bought his cargo pants (not the army ones. *sobs*)
-bought his R bling. (ITS HUGE!)
-bought a custom made ring with Rae on it. =D
-bought my Charmed Season 2 DVD
-ate baskin robbins 3 scoop icecream! (Brownie Maui Madness, Gold Ribbon, Chocolate Fantasy!)
-ate A&W! (loves rootbeer float and onion rings!)
-was accompanied by loved ones. =D (minus 2 important ladies and 3 handsome dudes)
-played all the rides on Genting Theme Park (outdoor and indoor!)

3. thy scent lingers on the tip of my nose
-the fragrance that i truly missed has made its comeback
-my instincts of smell heightened when you come close

Hit Diner's

2008-03-26T22:54:00.002+08:00

Dinner at Hit Diner's by BillyBombers was great
=D

2008-03-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

no mood to update. so juz watch this clip that cheered me upp

Screen

2008-03-02T00:34:00.002+08:00

When i see your name on my screen
my heart began flutters in excitement
so i typed my silly hi
but honey, i waited hours and i didnt even get a single bye

Deep Desires

2008-02-27T13:36:00.002+08:00

I have this huge urge
to bake up a storm!
cupcakes! muffins! cookies!
all yummy-licious little devils that they should be
a sin to just devour them straight up
like a cocktail to an alcoholic
blahs.
the very aroma that lingers in the air
outside the bakery shop
as i prance by
stirs the excitement inside me
wishing, hoping that i could
or rather, i would one day
bake up those tiny devils in my very own kitchen.
would you bake with me?

Ramblings:
~I had this dream
where i had your arm around me
while i was sifting the mixture
and slowly beating the dough

The oven switched on
preheating
waiting for that very moment
for me to pop my delicious delicacies

Your whispers tickled my ears
giggling like a dumb blonde that i am
i turned around to face you
with my dirty dough-filled hands
i placed the dough on ur nose
and licked it off~

Expression Of Gratitude

2008-02-22T08:52:00.002+08:00

For this post,
I am dedicating it to the SingPost and SilverCab company.
I want to thank the cab driver
who made an effort to drop off my missing wallet
at the SingPost Office.
And to the SingPost,
I also want to thank you
for mailing (returning) me back my missing wallet.
Thank You So Much.
You have no idea how much you have saved me from
future troubles.
Once again, I thank thee.

Sincerely,
Abdul Rahman Kamarudin

Bleeding Love

2008-02-19T09:56:00.002+08:00

"And everyone’s looking round
Thinking I’m going crazy
But I don’t care what they say
I’m in love with you
....
And it’s draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I’ll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see "
- Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis

after all the words she sang,
i can only relate to these few words.
yes, i keep BLEEDING, KEEP BLEEDING LOVEEEEEEEEE
heh.
anyway,
im missing you badly.
what i have of you, is gone.
so please come back.

Sorry

2008-02-18T13:22:00.003+08:00

I was listening to some songs off the radio at work.
and i heard the song Apologise and also Blame It On Me.
and i realise,
that i have not apologise for the wrongs i did in my life.
so here i go,

Im sorry
1. For not being the perfect son
2. For not being the perfect brother
3. For not being the perfect cousin
4. For not being the perfect grandson
5. For not being the perfect friend

I've like a gazillion flaws in me.
So if you've met me,
and get to know me,
you would know by now.

I'm
1. Rude
2. Selfish
3. Self-deluded
4. Lifeless
5. Anti-social
6. Sickening
7. Irritating
8. Mentally Sick
9. An Asshole

Yes. that's rahman for you folks.
so again, i am sorry.

PS:
I am sorry
i wasn't made for you
I am sorry
that i couldn't be with you
I am sorry
to myself
that i would never be with you
and live my life with you.

Loves

2008-02-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

This song resembles
how much i am at right now.
so take your time
and lend it your ears.

Song lyrics | Heart lyrics

God's Gift

2008-02-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

The first time i laid my eyes upon you,
you were of nobody.
But god wanted me to see you
and so
he sent you my way,
in every way.
Though i began to see more of you,
still, nothing about you captivates my mind.

Heaven's plans were not set forth,
with my stubbornness to not want to get to know you.
So, again, he sent you my way.
I ignored those calling,
pushing you aside.

Then came a day,
when you came along,
you intrigued me.
I was curious,
so i let you in.
That's why they said curiosity killed the cat.
Because, seriously, it killed me.

I was drawn,
more and more into you.
Feelings began to grew,
like the flowers blooming in autumn.
I had no control over it,
so before i knew i would fall,
i decided to push it aside.

That very move,
made me fall even deeper.
I couldn't accept it.
You were nothing,
you were not what i was looking for,
but in every aspect,
what i wanted.

My cravings grew,
then my senses began to grow too.
Your body scent lingers on my nose,
and i crave for it every second.
I needed to smell you,
to know that your around me.

Don't go away.
I beg you.

To A Dear Friend

2008-02-11T00:50:00.000+08:00

Dear ____,

I've been holding this in.
I want to let it out, let the whole world know

That my feelings for you grew
stronger and stronger
as the days passes by.

BUT
im not to do it. Why?
Because I don't want to
...strain our ties that bind us together
...part ways from you
...not see you ever again
...be belittled by you
...ever have to not be by your side
because these are the things that are keeping me happy at the moment.

Love Always,
Rahman

Movies

2008-02-01T13:45:00.000+08:00

Sweet autumn leaves fall
Rendering the midst of air to seclude me
The sight of the setting sun upholds the serenity of the month of February

Saint Valentines marks this very month
to release the love in his heaven
upon the very Earth, where we human beings dwell
so shall we feel the romance that is filled in the air.

Cupids roam around
wings flapping,
golden bow with shimmering light in one hand
and a love-filled arrow in the other.
Finding love's lost
and bringing them together.

Once in sight,
the arrow is released hit on the very heart
that stirs with excitement, pure passion and lust.

Love's mystical in my eyes
cause your very absence is making me blind
I need you now more than ever
So I pray that you will be safe forever
-Rahman

I just finished watching 2 nice movies.
well not just, coz right now im only updating. heh.
heh. rentals are rawking my world baby. =P.
im doing this, so time will pass by faster.
so i can await that very day
that i can cry and allowing everyone to see.
whee~

i watched school of scoundrels!
its by billy bob thorton (angelinajolie's ex) and some other loser-ish dude.
nice show to watch. really. go check it out urself if uve got time.

the other movie
is duplex.
heh. its a funny show la.
not bad again. but not in my favourites.
someone kept telling me to watch it.
so i did. hahx.

UPDATE: 11:25PM

amina and saba juz came by for movie marathon
make that 2 movies. heh.
yeap yeap. 2 movies!

ouh ya, i ate like a pig today.
i tink im pregnant sia! LOL!
i tink i literally ate for 3 people.
had like 4 bowl-ful of nasigoreng
WITH sambal ikanbilis (anchovies!)
ly, not our dear nenek one, bought from some stall fyi. =P
i dunnoe why but even after those 4bowlfuls,
im not full. gosh.
hunger is thriving within my stomach.
I SWEAR!
now im craving for Subway's Sandwich.

anyway, saba amina and me watched:
1. The Brothers Solomon
2. I Am Legend

damn nice! both shows.
i still find the Brothers Solomon damn funny. weird but funny.

I Am Legend on the other hand, its okay la.
JUST OKAY. hahaha.
for a movie that was very well anticipated,
i am disappointed at the end result.

and colic!
the baby show.
i can say im cool with it.
haha. not scary
but very nice in my view.
and while watching this show just now at 10
fat lexy smsed me about ghost.
causing me to get worried all over again
please pray for his safety can?
he may be BIG in physical size but small in size of courage.
im serious.
he wont even watch thriller/gory/ghost movies with me.
jerome on the other hand, is dealing ns with pure pleasure
cause when he book out last week
and came online
he was soo happy about things that he learn.
so yea, im thinkin he is enjoying ns. hahx.
like i said before
Fat Suffer Thin Pleasure
=P. for ns that is.
OUH YA! speaking of which
romey shud be out by now!
and slping soundly at home.
TMR I SHALL DRILL HIM! WHOO~~

thats it for now. =X.
i might watch alex and emma later.
toodles

Gimme

2008-01-29T16:57:00.000+08:00

"If your on a mission,
You've got my permission"
-Gimme More, Britney Spears

But baby,
on that mission
don't forget me
and please stay safe

xoxo

Celebration & Uptown Girls

2008-01-28T02:03:00.000+08:00

Its 2am right now. =X
heh. just finished watching Uptown Girls.
starring Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fanning.
its a nice show to watch,
filled with sweet-naturedness and cold-hearted young girls.
i like the storyline.
i recommend you to watch it. =D
ive butterflies in my tummy when i watched it.
and this is my favourite part of the movie
(the ending)

heh. nice eh. =D.

and today, or rather yesterday,
Me, Chui, Tina and ShuNing
had a SUCCESS surprise!!!
for our dear Da Jie, KOH SI YING! =D
girl, wadever we did before today
it was on purpose yea. =D
no hard feelings babe. =D
my message to you:

"Always have fun. Because its your
last year as a (nine)TEEN.
next year, your be a (twen)TY.
if you get what i mean. =D.
Aside from that, I wish you luck on your
future endeavours. Plus, let our friendship
blossom and forever stay. Because i can't lose
another friend already. =D. Your someone i want
to stay in my life and stay vivid in my memory."
-Rahman

thats all for now till pictures come. =D

Fat Went In, Skinny Got Out

2008-01-25T12:44:00.000+08:00

2nd one DOWN!
does life really separate you from your friends
when you just began to get closer to them?
Well, my life has been doing just that exactly.
Alex's turn to enlist today!
ROARS!
Let's all pray for his safety,
because his leg itself is not safe.
He has like a semi-defective leg.
WAHAHA. im mean, but like i said earlier,
lets pray for his safety okay.

Jerome's coming out today!
im gonna curse him
for forgetting me! UGH.
actually, i remembered about him getting out
thanks to one guy called W SNG
i dun haf any idea who he is
but he came into the shop with his parents
and he was wearing the army uniform
so yea. haha.

ttfn

Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T23:08:00.000+08:00

Lets all bow our heads down,
put our hands together,
and pray as one.
Let our prayers be heard
by the powers that be.
Let him rest in peace.
Heath Ledger, young and talented.
a little hot too i would say
A minute of silence

He was to be the Joker
in the new Batman movie.
Let his last movie
surpass all expectations.

Rest In Peace.

Hatred

2008-01-21T12:32:00.000+08:00

There's this one song
that really bothers me
ALOT. like ALOT ALOT!
it goes something like this:

She calls me baby, then she won't call me.
Says she adores me and then ignores me.
Jenny, what's the problem?
She keeps her distance and sits on fences.
Puts up resistance and builds defenses.
(courtesy of http://www.lyriczz.com)

yes. its the song called Jenny by Click Five
i totally totally DESPISE the song
it gets on my nerve
and you wanna know why?
well, i won't say it here.
If you wanna know why
(and me being selective on who i would tell
pray tell your the lucky one i would tell to)
just ask me. =D
and don't ask me why i keep listening to it.
because i have no idea why i like being irritated.

Loves.

Dream

2008-01-20T14:32:00.001+08:00

I lay my head down on my soft pillow
as my body settled down on the mattress
I closed my tired eyes
shutting away the reality thats dawning upon me
Darkness engulfed me

Slowly, I began to see the swirling white lights
and soon, the dream began to unfold
Pictures began to play
like a movie that i was to catch
But for now,
I am to be considered as a cast of it.
Walking down that lane,
keeping a lookout for you,
but you were no where to be seen.
I kept telling myself you would appear,
keeping my hopes high.
Then, I heard the distant echoes
Voices filled with joy and happiness.
I looked in that direction
and the picture began to change.

I appeared in the midst of the crowds.
For now,
at least i didn't feel alone.
I had people surrounding me,
the tension in my body began to ease.
Right, I thought to myself.
I felt a smirk forming on my lips.
Moving around the crowd,
the body contact was surreal.

Out of no where,
I felt a hand reached down on mine.
Instinctively, I turned.
Instead of you,
Another face appeared.
Smiling at me,
pulling me closer.
Slowly,
the hands began to wrap around my waist
and then our body touched.
The warmth that was shared
The insecurities began to subside.
I realised that you were gone
and replaced by another.
My heart began to pound,
my mind began to throb.
I rest my heard on anonymous's chest
I heard the heartbeat,
pounding and pounding
at the same rhythm as mine.
The new you was found.

My face looked up to see you
your eyes twinkled in delight
and your lips were fully luscious
You came nearer
and then it happened
The kiss was made.
Blood began to rush down my head
as you pulled me ever closer
My hands reached for the back of your hair,
pulling you even closer.
The sensation that was built,
the passion and the lust just rushed out.

Then i had to break the liplock
to face you, and study your face
when your eyes opened again,
the cheery-ness in ur eyes made my day
you wanted it, and i too wanted it.

Suddenly,
your hands that was laying softly on my back
was clasping, hurting me awhile
your eyes changed
You were hurting inside.
My mind was terrorized with questions.
What was happening to you?
Then your right hand reached for your heart.
You were gripping in pain.
Your knees began to crumble down.
I held you close,
slowly moving down with you.
We were on our knees now.
Your face was distorted, in pain.
Grimacing and Contorted,
you slowly lay your head on my lap.
Thud, Thud, Thud went my heart
as if it was racing
Panic was coming in

I remember calling people for help
But weirdly,
the crowd disappeared in the midst of air
Replaced by them
were 9 people.
Angels i presumed
Surrounding the both of us.
I couldn't catch their face
As the light that shine upon it was too bright.
They did nothing
but just stood there n watch
Tears swelled up in the corner of my eye
And then it ran down
I looked at you,
still in pain, i didn't know what else i could do
I couldn't bare to leave you to seek for help
You clenched your chest
I rubbed your hair
All i could do was to comfort you
Then slowly,
Your body was easing.
But your eyes was shut.

The breathing slowed
Your face looked pure
Then you whispered
"I'll never leave you"
And thats when i started to sob
Your last breathe.

Your death awoke me from my slumber
And tears existed in the real world too
I realised i was crying in both worlds
and also that
I gave you the kiss of death.

If i could ask God one question...

2008-01-19T14:34:00.001+08:00

It would be
"Why wont he let
you stay with me?"

Your leaving
Im waiting
Forgive me
Im always missing you

I feel it already
Forgive me
Im always missing you
Before the goodbye
- Before The Goodbye,
Britney Spears (2001)

Regret

2008-01-15T17:17:00.000+08:00

Even for a day
when i blocked you away
you were on my mind the whole time

asking you to get lost is hard for me
asking you to be gone is even harder
but the reality is setting in

the days are drawing closer
that ill lose you forever
so right now
all im asking now from you is
never ever say goodbye to me

Loves.

Bowling

2008-01-13T19:33:00.000+08:00

Jerome has gone to camp yesterday.
lets all put our hands together n pray for his well-being
*prays*

anyway, yesterday i met up with kangkang, nana, ahning and lexy
had to go out today due to circumstances which im not going to babble about
i had to so as to set my mind at ease.
went out to Kallang Leisure Park
it is all ReVAMPED! tho its still new
meaning to say that many shops has still not open yet,
it has a good atmosphere about it. =D.
i like it. heh.

the movie place looks uber ULU
so its a must to go if i wanna catch any movies
due to NIL queues. and i do mean ZILCH. NONE. ZERO.

=D. the iceskating ring is back to business
so this means no more going to jurong for it! YAYNESS.
its about 14bucks per 2hours. =X (thats for weekend, didnt catch a glimpse of weekdays though)
however you still have to pay for the rental of skates which is about 3.50
so in total if your prepared to go to the iceskating rink,
bring along 30 bucks, because about 20 would be used for the event itself
while 10 bucks is a case of if you want to spend on lunch/dinner. =X

anyway, we went to the bowling centre
and although i TRULY SUCK @ it, i had like LOTSA fun. =D
AhNing is the SILENT KILLER la. she dunnoe how to play still can be 2nd/3rd in position.
ROARS!!
Tina on the other hand is the powerful one (minus the part where she loves SPLITting. =X)
Lexy is also one of the better ones.
Chui and me, we're on par. right girl? haha.
nonetheless, i had fun.
something to smile about at least.
pictures and videos will be up once i got them okay people. =D

going home time was funny tho.
it rained! haha. fun fun rain!
we ran from the ULU bus stop to the mrt station. funny shit la.
was soaking wet! =X. heh.
it was time to head home.
Everyone left while i sat down at Macdonalds to run away from the problems i have.
settle down and read my book. it felt good.
when i wasnt reading, i began to reminiscence of the times i mugged here
A levels muggin session with saba and amina
and also those EXTRAS. =D.
feel aslp awhile there tho. =X.

then i felt the sudden urge to scribble:

"What i believe
is what i think is true
But everything seems to be a myth
And realising this fact, turns me blue.

The denial of the the fact
that i have been facing
Strength is what i lack
To face the truth is what i have been embracing

The mistakes ive been making
Is always reoccuring
That is because
I dont live by 'Learning from your Mistakes'.

So now i lay back down,
And i blame myself,
For the things that happen
Surrounding me and thyself."

i know it blows so hush about it. =X.
anyway, i just want to leave a message.
I Hate You. =D

ZOMG

2008-01-10T22:15:00.000+08:00

ok, i swear i didnt do this intentionally
i did something dumb in the previous post ( i wont tell which one)
and i am NOT going to EDIT it. =P. hehehe.

to those smart ones,
try to guess it out. ROARS.

Romey

2008-01-10T22:03:00.000+08:00

This post will be SPECIALLY for mr Jerome Yip Jie Looonnnngggggggg. heh. XD.
DUDE! UR GOING NS TMR!
goodluck! i know your going to make it to the officer cadet school!
with the white horse, you can suck up and who knows, he can help you get there!
=P. kiddin, your gonna make it all on your own determination and perserverance yea?
heh. GO ROMEY GO! JIA YOU! =D
rahman is behind you all the way!
plus Tina, ChuiLin, ShuNing, SiYing, Alex, Roderick, Daryl, KoXuan & Ken!
support you all the way! whoo~~

Love is a State Of Grace

2008-01-07T20:27:00.000+08:00

Love Is A State Of Grace
Transcending time and space
No other way I can describe
Instantly beautiful
Its almost mystical
Cause your mine
And I cant believe that I feel what I feel
such a strange kind of real
love is a state of grace
between you and I

Golden, broken
I didn't know
One touch could open
my body and soul
And you've just begun
Like the moon and sun
We fade to one

Question

2008-01-07T00:26:00.000+08:00

Do you ever feel lonely in your life before?

Random

2008-01-06T21:11:00.000+08:00

i was watching Friends Season 10's last episode
and this quote tickled my stomach.

"Do you have any idea how many hot guys there is in Paris?!"
-Phoebe (Lisa Kudrow)

PS: it does not apply to French dudes who are not in France itself.
or halfFrench for that matter. =P

My Zodiac

2008-01-06T01:16:00.000+08:00

got this from an email. =X

CANCER - The Beauty

MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's Love is one of a kind. Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative Person, most's are artists and insane respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An Ultimate Freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare
Spontaneous. Not a Fighter, But will kick your ass good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to! 12 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

and my partial zodiac:

LEO - The Lion

Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy, but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found. 7 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

Pray

2008-01-06T00:03:00.000+08:00

Lets all put our hands together
and pray for dear Britney

Premonition

2008-01-04T00:13:00.000+08:00

i juz saw an ad on the Police
how 'futuristic' can it get.
im entering Police soon. BLAHS.
ive been dreaming of going to the ARMY but no
the government had to send me to the Police Academy
officer course school, gone with the wind. haiz.
i guess watchin tv can give me premonitions.

My Fantasy 2008

2008-01-01T21:37:00.000+08:00

When 2008 came on time,
the rings began to chimes.
I stood there,
surrounded by the people I cared for
but one time was for sure.
My heart was on fire,
the fire of jealousy that engulfed me.
My eyes were surely green
as i look at my surroundings.
Your hand was what i was looking for.
But it was nowhere in sight.
Your hands to wrap me in,
exchanging body heats so i can stay warm
in your embrace
our eyes to have met
and for our lips to have touched.
My fairytale new year was all a dream.

PS: THANKS FOR THE PRESENTS FROM KOREA LOO

2007. The Year of Britney

2007-12-30T22:29:00.000+08:00

yes. you heard it right
2007 is the year of none other than
miss britney spears herself
'miss american dream
miss bad media karma'

She is the squeaker-clean-mousketeer-turned-vixen
now termed as a popwreck
she has made headlines more than
all celebrities compiled into one.

She's the most searched on Yahoo
Listed as number 1.
Her single, Gimme More
#1 on iTunes
Her album, Blackout
#1 on Billboard Favourites
Britney Spears
She is just number 1 is everything

My source of Inspiration
My muse